i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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