Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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