So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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