Sry I called you an 8
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
