you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
