Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
