Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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