you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
