I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
