Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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