my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
