Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
