i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
