how can u be prego again
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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