All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
