There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
