My cat gives me a boner
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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