my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
