I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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