and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
