Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i now understand why vodka
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
