nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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