if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize