we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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