We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize