do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
