Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
