i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
