I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We're too hungover to prance.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
