Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
