I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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