Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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