Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
