Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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