Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I AM VODKA MAN
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
