Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
