I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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