so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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