I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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