idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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