So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
