that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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