I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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