she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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