would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When are your genitals available?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
