guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
