I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize