I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
