I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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