she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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