what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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