My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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