moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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