i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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