Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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