i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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