Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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