Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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