Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
