Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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