just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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