Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize