..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
